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  • queerhellth

Case #34

"And yet, because I'm a woman getting married to a man, I must have children"


I'm an asexual, panromantic, afam, female presenting 20 something. My fiancé's a cishet white man.


I'm terrified of childbirth and I'm generally sex repulsed. I had to go on birth control when I was 13 due to some health issues; I've been on it ever since. When I got engaged and told my OBGYN, they said "oh so you probably want to get off the BC soon, right?"


That was strange to me and I expressed as much. Again, I'm taking it mainly for health reasons, but it doesn't hurt that it keeps away unwanted babies.


They went on to say "well obviously you want to start a family, so we can take you off the BC." I was fuming. I'd explained to them before that I'm ace and what that means. I've explained that I don't want children. And yet, because I'm a woman getting married to a man, I must have children.


I went home and immediately started searching for a new OBGYN. I also cried, a lot.